I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
