Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
