The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This baby is an asshole
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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