Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
