just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
