i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
