It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize