We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
