dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
