so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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