forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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