So drunk its hurt
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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