She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
