dude i'm inner monologue high
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
40s are totally the cure
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
