Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
