I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize