Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
