D3 body, D1 cock
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
