Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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