After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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