found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
