His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
