She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want nice things and good sex
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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