What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
