Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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