she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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