the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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