What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
