fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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