There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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