We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
