I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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