My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
