i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
