I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
