I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
