you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
