I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
