i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
