is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
