he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
