never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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