the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize