Don't you send me to vm
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
