hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
