Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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