Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
