i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
