marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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