When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
