went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
