I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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