bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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