i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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