i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
