My brain says no but my pants say off.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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