So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
