She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
