i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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