He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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