i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
