My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize