i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
