I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
