I just threw up on my dentist
ugly people sure do ruin things
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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