FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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