he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
