I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
