do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
