Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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