at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
