After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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