Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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